John 19 - Wednesday 13th November

Today’s chapter is John 19

Tom writes:

The cross is so baffling.  Every time I really come back to it I feel my ears ringing with silence. I feel my soul having the carpet pulled from under its feet. The cross undoes everything that is self-seeking and proud in me. The cross leaks away my silent assumption that I advance by being good enough, by winning, by the effort of my self. The cross shows us how our King wins… and that should baffle us. Most kings who are on crosses are pretty rubbish kings.  Most kings on crosses are being proven to be failures.  But this king on this cross at this particular moment is at the height of his powers. He is fulfilling scripture. That doesn’t make sense.  Not in 21st century London at least it doesn’t.  You can’t lose in order to win - you need to fight to win.  You can’t die in order to gain - you need to beat others to gain.  But the cross carves up all of that in me.  It convicts it and smashes it and clears it all away. This has always been the way Our God wins in our world. This is how light penetrates darkness. Light penetrates darkness like a patient ferment; by the washing of feet, by weeping with the weepers, by unflinchingly speaking the truth, but doing it wrapped in love. Light offers up life in meekness and confidence, in surrender and assertion, in a defiant death that will probably end up being a victory, but which looks like a desolation on this day. This is how we fight our battles; through the cross… and that should baffle us. Don’t move on in the bible until the cross grips you and tips your life on the floor. Don’t move on from the cross until it feels like a jumbo jet that has landed in your garden. If we come away from the cross not thinking that everything is up for grabs then maybe we have not really come to the cross at all. We need to spend some time at the cross. We need to let the cross scar us and challenge us time and time and time again. For if we don’t really come to the cross then we can’t really come to the empty tomb either. If we try to win our way, we will never win at all… at least in the end. And winning in the end is what the cross enables us to receive.

Question for reflection

How has the cross affected you? How has it changed how you fight your battles?